Falling Apart
by Abicus
Summary: Soda comes home from war, and catches Ponyboy in a dark time. One-shot.


**It's been a while. It's a tad bit cheesy. Anyone else trying to get prepared for NaNoWriMo? I don't even have a plot ready! **

**Anyways, without further ado, I present to you my one-shot. That I found in my recycle bin. That I've kind of revised.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders, S.E. Hinton does.**

~X~

Ponyboy stood over the sink, small trickles of blood running down his arm. In his other hand he held a razor, which he had used for the same thing countless times. He watched the blood, mesmerized, enjoying it as it trailed into the bathroom sink. He needed the relief right now, and he couldn't seem to get it from anything else.

Sodapop had been drafted a while ago, as well as Steve and Two-Bit. Johnny and Dallas still came over, but not very often; they had their own lives to live. Darry had been working later, coming home by the time Ponyboy was done with dinner. They barely talked anymore- the gang fell apart.

He was so engrossed in his thoughts about how they were all gone; he didn't hear the knock at the front door, the yell for anybody who was home, the knock at the bathroom door, or it opening.

"What the hell is this?" A voice behind Ponyboy demanded. Ponyboy jumped, and grabbed the nearest towel, and using it to cover his scarred arms. He spun around, eyes wide, his lips already forming incoherent words to whoever was at the door.

He stumbled back when he caught sight of who it was, tears making his forest eyes glisten, only one falling freely.

Sodapop stood there, an angry, pained and disappointed expression painted on his face. He was in his uniform, his bag still in his hand. He dropped it to the floor and took a step towards Ponyboy, who looked away in shame.

"What are you doing?" He asked more softly, closing the door, assuring Ponyboy didn't escape.

"I-I hurt myself, when I fell," Ponyboy replied, not meeting his brother's gaze. He wanted to take it all back, and throw his arms around Soda, and tell him how much he missed him, or how everything was going wrong.

Soda looked at Ponyboy, seeing straight through his lie. "Why did you do it?"

"I don't know, Soda. It's just, everything was going wrong- the gang was falling apart, me and Darry don't talk anymore, and I'm slipping in school. I didn't know what to do. I didn't even mean for this to happen, Soda," he pleaded for his brother to believe him, towel still wrapped around his arms.

"You should know better than this, Ponyboy. Don't worry, though, we'll get you through this." Sodapop enveloped Pony in a hug, which was returned. "I missed you guys. Steve is coming home in about a month, so is Two-Bit."

"I missed you too, Soda. I was scared, Soda, I'm really sorry," Ponyboy said once more. He had grown, so he was now the same height as Darry, taller than Sodapop. This didn't go unnoticed by the said brother.

"Since when is my baby brother taller than me?" He asked playfully, though it was half-hearted. He couldn't keep his eyes off of Pony's hidden arms, wondering how much damage was done.

Ponyboy shrugged, and grinned. "Don't like being the shortest, do you now? Anyways, could you, um…" He glanced at the door, then at his arm. Soda nodded, and with one last glance, stepped out, shutting the door.

~X~

"Man, I can't get over how different you look, Pone. I really missed you guys. How're Dally and Johnny holdin' up?" Soda sprawled out on the couch, now only wearing a T-shirt and sweat pants.

Ponyboy looked away, and shrugged. "Like I said, the gang fell apart. I hardly ever talk to them." He fiddled with a loose thread on the hoody he was wearing.

"We'll fix everything, Pony. When does Darry get home?" He asked, flipping onto his stomach to look at Ponyboy better.

"Around six. Oh, yeah, I gotta cook dinner," he answered, hastily jumping off the couch and into the kitchen. Soda followed him in.

"I'll cook. Do we have any food coloring?" He dug through the cabinets, and glanced at Ponyboy, who shook his head. "Man. How did you survive without me and my creativeness?"

Ponyboy shook his head and grinned. "We managed, though it wasn't the same." Soda grinned and ruffled Pony's hair, surprised he didn't pull away.

"Ponyboy, you home?" Darry's voice carried from the living room to the kitchen. Ponyboy grinned deviously at Soda.

"In here, Dare, just making dinner. I got a surprise for you, too. It's the most amazing thing anyone could ask for." Ponyboy stood back, and let Soda step in front of him. Darry came into the kitchen, wearing a fatigued expression. When he saw Soda, he froze.

"Darry!" Soda gave his eldest brother a hug, Ponyboy watching as they talked in hushed voices.

~X~

"Darry, have you noticed anything wrong with Ponyboy?" Sodas whispered, looking at Pony's sleeping form as if he expected him to wake up and scream, 'boo!'

"He stopped smoking after you left, but that's about it." Darry glanced at his youngest brother, too, watching as he mumbled incoherent words, and turned over on the couch, pulling the hoody to him tighter.

"Darry, when I came home, I found Pony in the bathroom, and he- Glory Darry, I was so scared! He was cutting himself, Dare, and I don't know how to handle this. What do we do? We can't leave him alone, or he might do it again. If we stay home and watch him, he's going to get mad at us," Soda's quiet distressed voice caused Ponyboy to stir, only to go back to his dreamland.

"Soda, calm down. We'll help him, I'll promise you that. But right now, let's get to bed. You must be tired. Ponyboy? Go to your room, Pone." Darry shook Ponyboy, who woke up, only to shuffle into his room and fall right back asleep. Soda looked at the room Ponyboy entered before going inside, taking his place that was vacated once again.

~X~

"Ponyboy, we need to talk." Oh, how Ponyboy hated those specific words that came out of Darry's mouth. The inflection of his voice told him it was a serious matter, something that he did.

"What is it, Dare?" Ponyboy tried to sound innocent, sitting down on a chair at the table.

"Soda told me what happened Ponyboy. It needs to stop, Ponyboy- you of all people should know that that isn't how to handle things," he said softly. Ponyboy looked away, and nodded.

"I knew he was going to tell you, Dare. I'm trying to stop, really, I am. It's just so hard, though." Ponyboy met Darry's gaze, the worry in his eyes drowning him in waves of guilt.

"We'll help you, Ponyboy. Just know you're not alone. Now, go wake up your brother," he said, getting up and patting his shoulder. Ponyboy nodded, and obliged.

Soda shuffled into the living room seconds later, and sat down on the couch, covers still wrapped around his body as he wore a groggy mask.

"Ponyboy, you're going to be late if you don't hurry," Darry called from his room. Ponyboy rushed out of the hallway, slipping on shoes. As he was about to slip out the door, he left a few words.

"And guys?" Soda and Darry looked at Ponyboy, giving him their full attention.

"Thanks," he said, slipping out the door.


End file.
